Sunday, January 30, 2011

Alone again

**I hesitate to post this, because I'm really not looking for sympathy, praise, or whatever....I just want to type out stuff and get it off my chest**

I just got both kids in bed, and since it is actually only 8:05pm as I'm typing- that is a pretty amazing feat!  Maddox's bedtime routine is pretty set, but I don't normally have to wrangle both kids at once while changing, tooth brushing, story reading is going on.  Now I know it can be done, so that's a good thing!

Marshall headed off to California today for a 3-ish week long TDY.  I know he is looking forward to some warmer weather, seeing some people he used to work with, and working on something interesting.  He really is lucky to enjoy his job so much, and to be so good at it that he keeps getting recommended to do extra stuff like these TDYs.   I- on the other hand- it's not that I don't enjoy being a stay-at-home-Mom, maybe I'm just not good at it, or maybe I just really miss teaching.  I'm glad I'm here in Korea and I'm glad that I have this time with Maverick while he is so little, but I feel conflicted because I can't wait to get back to teaching as soon as I can, hopefully in Germany.  I am glad that we have Maddox enrolled in preschool here because she gets socialization with other kids, and she gets to have music, art, and other fun activities that I know I wouldn't do with her if she were here with me all day.  I think my friend Jaclyn said it really well in her post, and there will always be people who will judge and disagree....but I think I appreciate my kids more and make our time much higher quality when I get to have a little time away.

Of course I'm saying that as I'm staring down the barrel of a 3 week stretch of single parenting.  Not only single's outnumbered single parenting in a foreign country!  Oi!  I'm not looking for a medal here, I know many people do this much more than I do.  Marshall is really great about doing things around the house and playing with the kids when he's home from work.  He builds log cabins with Mdx almost daily (she mostly watches him build), takes out the trash when it gets full (my number one hate-to-do-it job), and picks up odds and ends at the commissary or BX whenever I need him to in order to save me the trip.  SIGH- I'm so lucky to have him...when I have him!

We were talking the other day and I said "I realized that in 2010 we were only apart the 2 months you were TDY in Mississippi".  He said "I was in Mississippi 3 months".....I said "Oh yeah.  AND the 2 months we were still in the States after you came to Korea.  NEVERMIND".  So- at least 5 months of 2010 we were apart.  It really didn't seem like it was that much because it was so spread out I guess.  It is kind of sad when we are thinking that 5 months being apart (in one year) is not that bad.  Still, it could have been a deployment, so it could have been worse.  I don't want to jinx it, but it's looking like 2011 just might be the year that we are together the most in our entire marriage so far.  WOW!  Good thing we came to Korea!

I'm making friends, but slowly.  I went to M.O.P.S., which was pretty fun!  The ladies at my table were nice, and I got a couple phone numbers of people I can call to hang out with.  I should definitely do that this week or next.   I also joined a book club and have made some friends at the Hospitality House, which is close to where we live.  There's a strange vibe around here that I can't put my finger on.  It feels kind of like everyone knows everyone already in a strange sort of I'm-the-new-girl-at-this-school way- I don't remember feeling that way at Langley, but it was a much larger base.  I definitely got the feeling from a few people (just by the questions they were asking me) that they were trying to figure out if I'm an enlisted or officer wife.  But you know??  I'm neither!!  I'm just me, I'm a civilian, I'm not my husband's rank.  I'm actually a fairly intelligent, fun, out-going person who sucks at sewing but secretly wishes I could do better, loves to drink coffee, loves to drink wine more, reads a ton, and I don't have a nice camera.  I don't get pedicures because I'm extremely ticklish, and I stopped biting my nails on whim (after 30ish years!) during this last pregnancy.  I breastfeed, but I'm NOT a lactivist.  I'm not normally this fat.  (HA!) My favorite food is cake, and my favorite style of music is probably bluegrass, but ask me again tomorrow.  And if you care about my husband's rank then I probably wouldn't be your friend anyway!  I have no problem being friends with ANY kind of wife, as long as she's cool and we have things in common.  So....those will be the kind of questions I ask from now on.  Not: "What does your husband do?"  Or:  "Are you a member of the OSC?"  I'll just cut to the chase and say: "Are you cool or lame?"  :)   LMAO!!!  I would NEVER say that!!

Ah- off to bed.  Thanks for listening.


Lisa said...

You are too cute. Don't let anyone get to you. I think your a very cool girl;o) I'll be around tomorrow. Give me a call!
I LOVE wine and really good beer, don't get pedicures, not a member of OSC, and my camera is mediocre.

Marshall McIntyre said...

I'll be home soon (-ish). I love you just the way you are and I hate leaving you guys, especially in a foreign land. We will go on a vacation before we go to Germany (I promise).